Thumbing My Way [Song]

This is another one for my Big Book of Great Lyrics: Thumbing My Way, by Pearl Jam. Well, let me start by saying that Pearl Jam is my favorite "present-day" band. Period. They've been my favorite band for quite some time now, almost a decade. And this is definitely amongst their best stuff. I didn't actually hear Thumbing My Way for the first time in Riot Act, I listened to it on Live At Benaroya Hall, a great, mostly acoustic, live album they released a few years ago. And I just loved it!! First of all, about the title: it took me a while to figure it out, and I didn't get it by myself (thanks, Riss!), that what he means by "Thumbing" is hitchhiking: you know, like you stick your thumb out to try and get a ride. Now that I know that, it seems pretty obvious from the lyrics, but it eluded me for quite some time...

I have not been home since you left long ago
I'm thumbing my way back to heaven

Counting steps,.. walking backwards on the road
I'm counting my way back to heaven

I can't be free with what's locked inside of me...
If there was a key, you took it in your hands.
There's no wrong or right,... but I'm sure there's good and bad
The questions linger overhead

No matter how cold the winter, there's a springtime ahead
I'm thumbing my way back to heaven
I wish that I could hold you... wish that I had
Thinking 'bout heaven

I let go of a rope,... thinking that's what held me back
And in time I've realized,... it's now wrapped around my neck
I can't see what's next,... from this lonely overpass
Hang my head and count my steps, as another car goes past

All the rusted signs we ignore throughout our lives
Choosing the shiny ones instead
I turned my back,... now there's no turning back

No matter how cold the winter,.. there's a springtime ahead
I smile, but who am I kidding?
I'm just walking the miles,.. every once in a while I'll get a ride
I'm thumbing my way back to heaven

Thumbing my way back to heaven
I'm thumbing my way back to heaven...

For me, it's about the end of something really important and the doubts it brings along. The first couple of verses tell us that the singer broke up with someone, and since then he is lost, adrift... a verse that always gets me is

I can't be free with what's locked inside of me...
If there was a key, you took it in your hands.

Then the singer starts to try and convince himself that everything is going to be ok, that he'll be alright without her, that he'll find his heaven again, but apparently the best he can come up with are these common sense, cliché quotes like "No matter how cold the winter,.. there's a springtime ahead", and gives us a little insight into what actually happened

I let go of a rope,... thinking that's what held me back
And in time I've realized,... it's now wrapped around my neck
I can't see what's next,... from this lonely overpass
Hang my head and count my steps, as another car goes past

That's another part of the song that I really love, describing this very real, sort of complicated scenario for a break-up... and later on finally adds, perfectly describing the hopelessness of the whole situation...

I smile, but who am I kidding?

He realizes there's no shortcut back to the place he wish he could be, the place that now he believes he was at... and, even worse, it's his fault he is not in this "heaven" anymore... eventually, all he can do is give in and try and live with the fact that it's gonna take a while to get over all this and all he can hope for is some help along the way...